Why was the belt arrested?
...
Because it was holding up a pair of pants.
Dad Jokes
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A sample microservice for testing DVM clients.
Not affiliated with, and with thanks to, https://github.com/yesinteractive/dadjokes
You heard of that new band 1023MB?
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They're good but they haven't got a gig yet.
Why are spiders so smart?
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They can find everything on the web.
If you want to get a job at the moisturizer factory...
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you’re going to have to apply daily.
What did the left eye say to the right eye?
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Between you and me, something smells.
What do you call a factory that makes okay products?
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A satisfactory.
Why did the golfer bring an extra pair of socks?
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In case he got a hole in one.
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a shark?
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Frostbite.
I’m starting my new job at a restaurant next week.
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I can’t wait.
I know a lot of jokes about retired people
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but none of them work.
You know what the loudest pet you can get is?
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A trumpet.
What do you get when you cross a sheep and a kangaroo?
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A woolly jumper.
I decided to sell my vacuum cleaner—
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it was just gathering dust!
Why do melons have weddings?
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Because they cantaloupe.
I just bought a dictionary but all of the pages are blank.
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I have no words to describe how mad I am.
Why do ducks never get into arguments?
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Because they always let things roll off their backs.
What did the buffalo say to his son when he dropped him off at school?
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Bison.
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
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A gummy bear.
Why don’t some couples go to the gym?
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Because some relationships don’t work out.
Why did the cow go to outer space?
...
To see the moooon.