Why did the broom get promoted?
...
Because it swept the competition.
Dad Jokes
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A sample microservice for testing DVM clients.
Not affiliated with, and with thanks to, https://github.com/yesinteractive/dadjokes
Why did the grape stop rolling?
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Because it ran out of juice.
Why did the coach go to the bank?
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To get his quarterback.
How do celebrities stay cool?
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They have many fans.
I was going to tell a time-traveling joke
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but you guys didn’t like it.
What do you call a talking dinosaur?
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A thesaurus.
What's the difference between a computer salesman and a used-car salesman?
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The used-car salesman KNOWS when he's lying.
What did one wall say to the other wall?
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I'll meet you at the corner.
What do you call a magician who lost his magic?
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Ian.
Some people eat light bulbs.
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They say it's a nice light snack.
Just read a few facts about frogs.
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They were ribbiting.
Why don’t oysters donate to charity?
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Because they are shellfish.
What do you call a factory that makes okay products?
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A satisfactory.
Why did the football team go to the bank?
...
To get their quarterback.
What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?
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A thesaurus.
What’s a skeleton’s least favorite room?
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The living room.
What do you call a horse that can’t lose a race?
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A stable winner.
My boss told me to attach two pieces of wood together...
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I totally nailed it!
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
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Supplies!
What’s the best thing about Switzerland?
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I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.