How do you fix a broken pumpkin?
...
With a pumpkin patch.
Dad Jokes
npub1dadn...9gj7
How do you know if a joke is a dad joke?
...
When it becomes apparent.
Follow for a dad joke every day, by nostr:npub1r0d8u8mnj6769500nypnm28a9hpk9qg8jr0ehe30tygr3wuhcnvs4rfsft
Not affiliated with, and with thanks to, https://github.com/yesinteractive/dadjokes
Why did the cow go to outer space?
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To see the moooon.
Why did the skeleton go to the gym?
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To get to the core of the problem.
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
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A gummy bear.
What did the shy pebble wish for?
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That she was a little boulder.
Why did the light bulb feel so loved?
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Because it brightened everyone’s day.
What's the best way to watch a fly fishing tournament?
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Live stream.
I got an email the other day teaching me how to read maps backwards
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turns out it was just spam.
Anyone can be buried when they die
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but if you want to be cremated then you have to urn it.
What did the grape say when it got stepped on?
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Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
How many South Americans does it take to change a lightbulb?
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A Brazilian
What do you call a sleeping bull?
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A bulldozer.
I cut my finger slicing cheese the other day...
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but I think I may have grater problems than that.
I just bought a dictionary but all of the pages are blank.
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I have no words to describe how mad I am.
What's the most depressing day of the week?
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sadder day.
Why did the baseball player bring a ladder?
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To reach the high scores.
Why was the calendar so confident?
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Because it had so many dates.
What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?
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Frostbite.
Why did the belt go to therapy?
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It was feeling a little strapped.
What do you get when you cross a cow and a duck?
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Milk and quackers.