I fell asleep outside in the sun and woke up to a raindrop on my hand. First, I looked up to see if there were clouds, but alas, the sky was clear as crystal. A bird shat on me.

😍

I’m getting a new washing machine today and I am officially at the age where I get so excited at the idea of new/working appliances that I can barely sleep the night before. Fuck Santa Claus, bring on the whirlpools