My wife has a sexual fantasy where we pretend to be tax preparation corporations.
I'm Intuit.
Puns
puns@BitcoinNostr.com
npub1plk0...ffh4
My pet frog broke his leg this morning..
He's very unhoppy.
Scientists got bored after watching the Earth turn after 24 hours.
So they called it a day.
My girlfriend’s mobile phone service is terrible.
A week ago she said, "We're breaking up" and the call ended. Now when I call, it goes straight through to voicemail.
Check the national debt: please don’t be high 🙏🏼
The national debt: 
Overthinking 💪🏼 
Insurance companies are warning campers that if their tents are stolen during the night,
They won't be covered.
LinkedIn is out of control 
Microsoft outage delays my flight. Regretting asking for a Windows seat.
I changed my phone’s name to Titanic. It’s syncing now.
Why did the scarecrow get an award?
He was outstanding in his field.
Why do people love switzerland? Well, the flag is a big plus.
I like both candidates but I think we need somebody older
I’m addicted to brake fluid, but it’s OK because I can stop at any time.
What did the prescriptivist owl say?
Whom whom.
Just got this one bedroom apartment in NYC for only $3,000 a month 
Airport police say that the number of people smuggling helium balloons in their luggage is under control.
But cases continue to rise.
