We've heard about how bad our narcissist’s exes were. We begin to question how bad they actually were especially after hearing from them how bad we are. This doesn’t mean any of us are innocent, but it makes you wonder how bad their exes actually were. Was this just another projection from the narcissist? Perhaps. The other important thing to realize is that we all get to decide for ourselves our own opinion of everyone including ourselves.
The strength and power we have to get through toxic relationships is an incredible thing to hold onto after you get out of these relationships. There are other behaviors that helped us to get through these relationships that can hurt a healthy relationship. Carefully, thoughtfully choose the behaviors you want to take into the next relationship.
The never ending story of narcissistic abuse. Love bombing, devaluing and discard. It leaves us empty and confused. It’s heartbreaking to watch and even worse to be in and live through. End the cycle, you and your future are worth it! You deserve to love yourself and live a life you truly love!
We are probably all considered toxic to some people. Especially if they are toxic themselves. The good people are aware that we don't always do the right things and we own it and work to get better. We can also acknowledge to ourselves that we do care and are working on being better. It's definitely something we can proud of ourselves for.
So many of us feel incredibly alone on Christmas whether we're surrounded by people or not. Sometimes it's worse when we're with people and still feel alone. This is normal and there's nothing wrong with you if you feel this way. Take some time to be with yourself even if it means time away from everyone else. Most of all be kind to you!
All I want for Christmas is all of the toxic and narcissistic people to be removed from our lives. For them to no longer affect our lives mentally, emotionally, physically or financially. The freedom for us to be ourselves and to be loved for it too! I wish this for every single one of you!
Toxic people try to ruin every single special occasion and Christmas is no exception. Everything must be about them and they'll throw a fit and cause drama and chaos if it's not. Try not to react to their childish fits if you can. Be kind to yourself either way. Allow yourself kindness and compassion. Their BS is only about them!
We often end up giving everyone else all of our kindness and compassion, but never really offering ourselves any. Turning this around is life changing! First giving this to ourselves until we are full. Then we have plenty to give to everyone else without depleting ourselves. Give to yourself first!
Merry Christmas and happy holidays to everyone! Sending so much love and peace to every single one of you! Grateful you are here! May your day be filled with an overabundance of peace, joy and connection. Allow yourself to embrace all the good things in your life. Hold those boundaries! You don't have to participate in anything that doesn't bring you peace, joy and love!
Narcissists will use this when they want to play victim and blame everything on you. Then they can say everything is your fault and you’re leaving them, even though that’s what they wanted. This still hurts even if it’s the best thing that could happen. It may be the opportunity you need. It definitely was for me.
Narcissists will do everything in their power to destroy any and all relationships you have with anyone else. Part of this is for control for sure. The other reason is that you will have a better relationship with all of these people than they are capable of. This brings up shame for them. Rather than trying to be better, change or face anything in their life. They will instead destroy your relationships with everyone they can.
Narcissists will try to trigger you forever in every interaction they have with you. It’s like a sick game to them. The hard part is how much we beat ourselves up when we react. It’s ok if you do react even though it sucks when we do. Do the best you can and be kind to you along the way. It's a process and a practice, not something we get perfect.
Being out of a narcissistic relationship feels a lot like a hangover. Mind is fuzzy, might have a headache and you definitely feel like crap. Unlike a hangover from alcohol, it lasts for more than a day or 2. It can last for months, years, or even decades. Detoxing takes time and it often doesn’t feel good. It is the path to being healthy again though. Take the time. Do the work. You are worth it!
Every single thing a narcissist ever does for anyone else always comes with an expectation. Narcissists are calculated in many things they do. Even when they aren't though, they always expect more from us. It's because to them, no one else matters. Nothing could be further from the truth! We all matter!
I help survivors of narcissistic abuse reclaim their independence and manage their minds.
Narcissists want us to react and blow up so they can show everyone else how crazy we are. In reality, we're not crazy for reacting to their abuse, it's much more the opposite. The hard part is they hide what they do to us from everyone else. This is another reason for us to learn how to not react, until we can get away from them anyway. Be kind to you even when you react. We all deserve kindness and compassion especially from ourselves!
Courage is a skill just any other that we can develop. The more we develop it the more we can expand our lives to what we truly want. The opposite is also true. It's simply a choice we make everyday whether we're aware or not. Courage is what it takes to leave a narcissist and build a life you love!
Most of the things that I talk about is from personal experience or similar personal experience. I definitely learn other things and a lot from clients experience too, but I've been through most of it myself. Be kind to yourself if you feel called out. These are a reminder for me too!
This is perhaps not what you would think of when talking about double standards. It is actually a double standard that we probably don't want to talk about. It's only OK if and when these things are true?! So many of us probably feel called out on this one. I think the most important thing is to be aware that it is a double standard. Not necessarily that we need to judge it one way or another. Although be careful of judging others for something many people do themselves.
It's not easy to not react when they know every single thing they can do to push our buttons. Learning to not react is a process and a practice. We can get better at it. We can also become more stable in our emotions. It's not easy and it takes work, but it’s something anyone can do.
I realize most people are just trying to be helpful when they say, “Just don’t let them get to you”. Most often, it’s just not helpful. When we can do that, we do. The rest of the time the most important thing is to not beat ourselves up for them getting to us. And when we do beat ourselves up for it. To then be kind and have compassion for ourselves for that too!
