There are many people whether they are aware of it or not. That may be physically available and even single. This does not actually mean they are emotionally available though. This is something we can all become more aware of in ourselves and in everyone else. Not to shame or judge, simply for awareness.
Watch out for any "kindness" from narcissists! There are always strings attached to everything they do. If there isn't, it's because they're learning things they can use against you later. It will all be used against us eventually. Keep your guard up and your boundaries strong. Don't allow anything that may be used against you later.
Toxic people are simply the way they are and they aren't going to change no matter what we do. No amount of conversation or anything else will change it. It only creates chaos and drama in our lives and they love chaos and drama. The only thing we can do is opt out. Leave if you can and build strong healthy boundaries either way.
We all make mistakes and that's ok. We can all learn from them if we are willing to. It's also much easier to learn from things we are not attacked for doing. We do not learn and grow from shame and judgement. We also don't grow with people who shame and judge us. You don't need them in your life.
We can't force healing faster or moving on with our lives. The more we try to do this, the harder it actually is. It's all something we get to allow to happen. We allow our emotions to surface and allow ourselves to work through them. We allow ourselves to release what no longer serves us and allow ourselves to embrace the future we want.
Narcissists try to trick us into believing the way they treat us is with love. They may do nice things for us in the beginning and even on occasion, but this is a mask and a distraction for the manipulation and abuse. Trying to cover up abuse with nice things will never compare to love. Love is much different and something we all deserve!
We often spend so much time hating the toxic people in our lives that it doesn't leave much time for us to love ourselves. Learning to focus on and love ourselves is the path towards healing. We can't learn to love ourselves while still holding onto hate. Give yourself grace along the way. It's not easy, but you are worth it!
The subtle manipulation, abuse and gaslighting by narcissists often leave us wondering if it's actually abuse. No matter how small or subtle. If this is a continuous pattern and especially if it leaves us questioning our own reality, it's still abuse. No one deserves to be treated this way!
We often get caught up in "they did this" or "this happened" in life. It's good to recognize the things that have happened. It's life changing when we heal the wounds inside of us. Love and happiness are all something that comes from us, to us. This is the real work. Do the work to release the past!
If we didn’t have any modeling or understanding of what healthy attachment or relationships look like in our lives, it’s hard not to find unhealthy people. They are comfortable and familiar even if we don’t consciously realize it. Awareness of this is the first step in processing and healing.
Healing from narcissistic or any other abuse is more than just understanding and making sense of what happened. Understanding and awareness is an important first step to healing, but it is not in and of itself healing. That is the real work we must do, if we want to be healthy anyway. Do the work for you!
Narcissists want to advertise to the world that they’re wonderful people. They might even do some good things in order to reinforce their advertisement. It is simply just false advertising though. They aren’t good people and they don’t care about anything other than themselves. The longer you watch their actions, the more aware of this you become.
Think of healing as more of a game of allowing, rather than something you actively do. Allow yourself the kindness, compassion and space for healing. We cannot force ourselves to give ourselves these things, we must allow ourselves to. Then we allow ourselves to embrace our own love and healing.
So many of us don't feel ready, or think we need to wait to get support in healing. We almost never wait and hope to put fuel in our cars, or we end up running out of fuel. It's much the same for us. If we are running low on fuel and don't have the tools to recharge. You may want to do that before you run out of fuel.
We all could strive to be more clear in our communication. I could assume and I am a little. I could also ask for clarity. If I've made a mistake, I get to own that. If this was not a positive comment, they'll either double down or disappear. Either way I gain more clarity. Caring people don't usually leave comments like this. Just FYI
Far too many toxic people use this response. You will never get a true apology from a narcissist or toxic person. If this is their apology and they don't change or make amends. Narcissist or not, it's probably time to face if you want to actually stay in this relationship or not. If they're not working on it, they probably never will.
It often feels like we are not making progress with healing or moving forward in our lives. This is often not true. We do need to do the work, but that often looks like steps forward and then recentering ourselves. Sometimes it looks like a break from everything and that's ok. Allow yourself compassion and keep moving forward, even when it feels like a step backwards.
I help survivors of narcissistic abuse reclaim their independence and manage their minds.
Too many of us have lost our voices through the overwhelm of abuse. Regaining our own voice is not always easy, but it is possible for everyone. We must do the work to release and remove any remains of anyone else's voice. Then we get to find and begin using ours again. It will take time, but it's worth it and so are you!
I help survivors of narcissistic abuse reclaim their independence and manage their minds.
Without shame and judgement, we simply have experiences we've gone through. Once we've released this, even some of the worst experiences are simply experiences we made it through. Love yourself enough to learn the tools to allow yourself to release the shame and judgement. You're worth it!
Most of us have some judgement of other people or situations and that's normal. It's healthy to be aware of this judgement because it usually reflects back on ourselves something we are judging in ourselves. Learning where it comes from and working through those things allows us to move forward in our lives.
