Becoming aware of the path we're on is so important. We can choose the path of facing and working through all the things in our lives. Or we will often default to trying to avoid and suppress all of these things. Moving forward in our lives requires us to work through all the uncomfortable things. It also leads us to the life we truly want!
Awareness is the first and the most important thing for all of us in our lives. Without awareness, we can't change or improve anything. The part that most people struggle with is not beating ourselves up with each new awareness. Use the awareness to move forward in your life, not to beat yourself up with.
Toxic people live in and create chaos to control, manipulate and avoid things in their lives. We don't have to accept or participate with this in our lives. They will still try to drag us into it. The more aware we are of it, the more we can focus on ourselves and let them sit in their own chaos.
It's not actually about healing or recovering. It's about seeing and embracing the incredible human we are. We do the work so we don't reject all the good things in our lives including ourselves. Healing allows us to embrace and see all the good in ourselves and to build even more into our lives.
It's not actually about healing or recovering. It's about seeing and embracing the incredible human we are. We do the work so we don't reject all the good things in our lives including ourselves. Healing allows us to embrace and see all the good in ourselves and to build even more into our lives.
Healthy boundaries are not easy to build especially if we haven't had them. It's also not something that happens instantly. It's a process and a practice everyone can build into their lives. It's not easy, but it's worth it. They allow all the good people in our lives and keep everyone else out.
It's not easy to work through all the thoughts about our exes and the abuse and release them from our lives. Bringing our thoughts and our focus back into ourselves is essential for moving forward in our lives. It's not easy to focus on ourselves while we are consumed with thoughts of them. This is why doing the work to heal is essential.
Healing allows us to let go of the past and all of the abuse and it allows indifference towards toxic people in our lives. It allows us to focus on our own lives and what we want and actually have it as a result. It releases us from everything they used to hold us back in our lives. It's worth it and so are you!
Smear campaigns are one of the most damaging things that can happen to anyone. In many ways it's literally convincing a large group of people that we are the evil one and the narcissist is the victim. It's not ok and it usually involves a lot of gaslighting. We must choose ourselves no matter what anyone else says.
It's not easy to do this for anyone, man or woman. It's possible to work through all the trauma and difficulties to see them as opportunities for growth in our lives. Not everyone will do this and that's ok. It is a path that will change your life forever in the positive and you may realize you were living in an illusion before.
It doesn't matter what, or if, they have a diagnosis or not. If the relationship is toxic, or if they are. We have a decision to make about how long we want to continue to live this way. It's not easy because we're used to them telling us we're wrong for our decisions. We get to make our own decisions though.
Doing the work to learn to build healthy boundaries is not easy, but it's life altering. One of the hard parts is since most of us were never taught this, we not only have to become aware of our lack of boundaries. We also get to learn what healthy boundaries look like and how to build and hold them.
Narcissists love to lie to and about us and if we ever say anything they will act like we deserved it. This is never the truth and it is abuse no matter how subtle it is. Everyone deserves love and respect. This is something we must give ourselves first in order to embrace it from others.
If we can't ever really gain clarity or even have the conversations in our relationships without everything being blamed on you, that's not healthy. We often then find clarity through safe people outside the relationship. If you can't ever have the conversations in your relationship, we then must decide how long we want to live this way.
They may not be directly abusive. They could simply be neglectful and unavailable. It doesn't even necessarily mean they are a narcissist. It also doesn't mean that it's not abuse. Neglect is abuse. It's still harmful, it just looks different than other abuse. It still hurts everyone involved!
So many people simply can't find it in themselves to hate even the people who have abused them and that's ok. The important thing is to be kind to ourselves. We get to learn how to forgive and love ourselves for who we are. Not who we think we should be.
Many times we think about the things and experiences we can buy for ourselves. These are important, but the growth and learning comes from inside ourselves. We must make the time and energy to give this to ourselves. It's the time, attention and care from ourselves to ourselves. It all starts inside us! #grownostr
After abusive relationships, we not only learn about it, to make sure we're not crazy. We also have the experience of seeing what they did to us. It's horrible to go through, but we also learn to see what they're doing. Once we see it, we can't not see it ever again even if it takes a little time to become aware of it.
We are always wrong in toxic relationships no matter what we do, according to them anyway. We often carry this fear of being wrong with us long after we're out of the toxic relationship. It continues to hold us back in every area of our lives. This is another reason healing is so important. It allows us to actually move forward with our lives.
Hopefully we've gotten past this, but many of us have wanted revenge or at least consequences for the narcissists. That's normal and probably even reasonable. The best revenge I think is knowing they'll be miserable for the rest of their lives. We get to heal and move forward with ours and be happy!
