We miss out on so many things being in toxic relationships. The biggest thing is getting to know who we truly are. Without knowing who we are, it's almost impossible to know who or what we want to become or do. Take the time to get support, heal and find yourself first. Then find people in alignment with who you're becoming. #grownostr
The more goals and dreams I accomplish, the more I realize it’s much more about the people I get to have in my life and who I become. The people around us and who we are is in many ways what our life is. The work of healing is not just to feel better, but to become the person we wish we would have had and continue to be this person for ourselves and everyone else we choose to have in our lives. #grownostr
Narcissists throw tantrums that are childish. It’s not easy to see it this way when we’re in the midst of it, and it’s definitely not safe to laugh at them for it. It can be helpful to look at it this way to help us cope with it or let it go afterwards though. It does not make it ok or right, but perhaps easier to deal with. #grownostr
Narcissists hate being exposed for anything that doesn't make them look good. They don't want the truth of the abuse to get out. Speak your truth, even if you need to do it in private. Find safe people who will listen and support you. They are out there and they want to help. It's one of the first steps to move forward. #grownostr
You can't have a healthy relationship with a narcissist. You can learn better ways of coping with the situation and be healthier in yourself, but there is no way for the relationship to ever be healthy. Leave if you can, but at least set up boundaries to protect yourself. Coping is the best it gets. #grownostr
As much as we don’t want it to and we don’t want to feel it, it hurts to lose a narcissist. The feelings we had were real for them no matter how they felt about us. It doesn’t mean we should stay or put up with the abuse, but it means it’s probably going to be heartbreaking and that’s ok. #grownostr
The less we react to their drama and chaos the less there will be. They will continue to try harder, but without our reactions this is very difficult because they look like children throwing a fit. It's not easy, but it's something to work towards if you can't get out yet. Do the work to be OK. #grownostr
It takes a lot of time to figure out if someone is a narcissist and much more for the first one. Even when you've been through it before, it doesn't mean we'll spot them immediately. Figuring it out and removing them from our lives is important, but being kind to ourselves along the way is the most important! #grownostr
It often feels like we struggle and can't make it through another day especially as we're ending a relationship with a narcissist. The truth is, it doesn't take any more strength to make it through getting out and healing as it does to deal with the abuse while we're in it. #grownostr
Narcissists will forever blame us for everything we did and didn't do. They'll also blame us for everything we didn't put up with from them and especially ever speaking up. That's just what they do and how they avoid and project everything they do onto us. It's not your fault not matter what they say! #grownostr
Many people are waiting on healing for the right time, situation etc. There will never be the perfect time or situation. Right now is all you have. The sooner you start, the sooner you get to start living the life you truly want. It's not easy, but avoiding it isn't either. We feel it either way! #grownostr
Narcissists must continually be the center of focus and Father’s day is not different. Whether they’re the father or not, they must make everyday and especially holidays about them. If that doesn’t happen, they’ll throw a fit and force everything to be about them. It’s not right or ok, but it’s what they do. #grownostr
Narcissists get their fix off of other's suffering. They feel less bad about themselves the more miserable everyone else is. Instead of wanting to get better, they want everyone else to do worse than them. They don't care about you, only that you are suffering. We do not have to participate though.#grownostr
So many layers of grief for sure and they do come faster after we're out. Most of us haven't learned how to actually work through them though and this makes things harder. Learning how to do this is life altering. It's the processing and letting go that takes much of the work and time. #grownostr
I'm grateful to be able to work with and help some of the absolute best people in the world who have literally gone through hell and didn't deserve it.
Watching them win in their lives means more to me than I could ever express in words.
Much love to everyone out there on your healing journey! ❤️ #grownostr
Narcissists are going to hide their nasty side and only show this to their “target”. Everyone else will see the shiny illusion they present to the world. Which is another reason people struggle with believing what we went through. It’s because they didn’t see it, because they weren’t the target. It still happened though! #grownostr
So many people try to insert their opinions. Even well meaning people. However, you are the only one that actually knows your own experience. It's ok to listen, but it's also ok to tell them you don't want to hear it or leave. Boundaries are a healthy thing for all of us! They're also our path forward! #grownostr
It seems like many times we lose everything after a relationship with a narcissist. We get stuck with all the trauma and debt and issues and they walk away with whatever they want. It’s true in many situations unfortunately. The good news is that we can heal and move forward and have a good life and they will perpetually be miserable and end up alone at the end. #grownostr
Nothing is ever enough for narcissists. They will demand it and rage when they don't get it. No matter how much you give they will always demand more. It's not going to change. We must learn to give to ourselves first. It's not easy, but it's the only way forward. We can't change them, but we can choose us! #grownostr
Narcissists speak about any of their issues in generalities, which allows them to always avoid any actual accountability. They’ll only talk specifically about the “good” things about them. They will, however, be specific about everyone else’s issues. It’s all about their image to the world and protecting it. #grownostr
