It takes a lot of time to figure out if someone is a narcissist and much more for the first one. Even when you've been through it before, it doesn't mean we'll spot them immediately. Figuring it out and removing them from our lives is important, but being kind to ourselves along the way is the most important! #grownostr
It often feels like we struggle and can't make it through another day especially as we're ending a relationship with a narcissist. The truth is, it doesn't take any more strength to make it through getting out and healing as it does to deal with the abuse while we're in it. #grownostr
Narcissists will forever blame us for everything we did and didn't do. They'll also blame us for everything we didn't put up with from them and especially ever speaking up. That's just what they do and how they avoid and project everything they do onto us. It's not your fault not matter what they say! #grownostr
Many people are waiting on healing for the right time, situation etc. There will never be the perfect time or situation. Right now is all you have. The sooner you start, the sooner you get to start living the life you truly want. It's not easy, but avoiding it isn't either. We feel it either way! #grownostr
Narcissists must continually be the center of focus and Father’s day is not different. Whether they’re the father or not, they must make everyday and especially holidays about them. If that doesn’t happen, they’ll throw a fit and force everything to be about them. It’s not right or ok, but it’s what they do. #grownostr
Narcissists get their fix off of other's suffering. They feel less bad about themselves the more miserable everyone else is. Instead of wanting to get better, they want everyone else to do worse than them. They don't care about you, only that you are suffering. We do not have to participate though.#grownostr
So many layers of grief for sure and they do come faster after we're out. Most of us haven't learned how to actually work through them though and this makes things harder. Learning how to do this is life altering. It's the processing and letting go that takes much of the work and time. #grownostr
I'm grateful to be able to work with and help some of the absolute best people in the world who have literally gone through hell and didn't deserve it.
Watching them win in their lives means more to me than I could ever express in words.
Much love to everyone out there on your healing journey! ❤️ #grownostr
Narcissists are going to hide their nasty side and only show this to their “target”. Everyone else will see the shiny illusion they present to the world. Which is another reason people struggle with believing what we went through. It’s because they didn’t see it, because they weren’t the target. It still happened though! #grownostr
So many people try to insert their opinions. Even well meaning people. However, you are the only one that actually knows your own experience. It's ok to listen, but it's also ok to tell them you don't want to hear it or leave. Boundaries are a healthy thing for all of us! They're also our path forward! #grownostr
It seems like many times we lose everything after a relationship with a narcissist. We get stuck with all the trauma and debt and issues and they walk away with whatever they want. It’s true in many situations unfortunately. The good news is that we can heal and move forward and have a good life and they will perpetually be miserable and end up alone at the end. #grownostr
Nothing is ever enough for narcissists. They will demand it and rage when they don't get it. No matter how much you give they will always demand more. It's not going to change. We must learn to give to ourselves first. It's not easy, but it's the only way forward. We can't change them, but we can choose us! #grownostr
Narcissists speak about any of their issues in generalities, which allows them to always avoid any actual accountability. They’ll only talk specifically about the “good” things about them. They will, however, be specific about everyone else’s issues. It’s all about their image to the world and protecting it. #grownostr
Narcissists are good at finding nice, vulnerable, caring people and pushing their boundaries to get everything they think they deserve. All the while never giving anything back that's not used for manipulation and control, whether now or later. Boundaries break this cycle. We don't have to settle! #grownostr
Many times when we're healing and feeling good, it will allow space for old or painful emotions to surface. This doesn't mean you're going backwards, often it's the opposite. We've often made enough space for these emotions to surface and that's good. We are reaching new levels of healing. #grownostr
Narcissistic relationships are confusing because everything is subtle and hidden. It’s also not all bad all the time or we would leave. We hold onto hope and every breadcrumb we get hoping things will get back to the way they were. The way it was and the hopes are the illusion that keeps us stuck though.
I help survivors of narcissistic abuse reclaim their independence and manage their minds. #grownostr
We definitely can develop tendencies that look like narcissism from the outside after being in abusive relationships. It’s often a defense against the abuse and it doesn’t mean we’re a narcissist or will become one. It’s good to be aware of our tendencies to work through and heal them, but not to beat ourselves up with.
I help survivors of narcissistic abuse reclaim their independence and manage their minds. #grownostr
We've all gone through things in our lives, but this isn't who we are. It's not easy to discover who we really want to be, but it's something everyone deserves. You are exactly who you decide to be and become and you are the only one who can decide this for yourself! Allow yourself to let go of the past and move into a future you want!
I help survivors of narcissistic abuse reclaim their independence and manage their minds. Healing is inevitable when you have the right tools and support. #grownostr
The subtle signs of isolation and abuse are really hard and sometimes impossible to see until later in the relationship or even after we get out. Narcissists are really good at hiding anything we could point to that was actually isolating us. It doesn’t mean it isn’t happening just because we don’t have concrete evidence though. #grownostr
Trusting ourselves is hard enough after toxic relationships. Trusting everyone else is even harder. Good, genuine people actually expect that trust builds as the relationship does. We don’t owe trust to anyone for any reason. We all get to do the work to earn the trust. #grownostr
