I look at cryptocurrency with a few heuristic questiond. One of them is "how susceptible is your solution to getting stomped by a centralized authority, like a government or app store owner?" If the answer is "very", it is not a good solution. Lightning is bad, because even the best solution is not good.

And I mean, yeah, I'm gonna sperg out on running my own bitcoin node and learning multisig and all that bc IT IS MY RETIREMENT. I am not gonna put that much effort to keep $500 live and spendable on a network that doesn't even have a guarantee that a channel will exist when i need it or of successfully routing any given payment. I don't even know if that is acceptable enterprise infrastructure.