There is NIP-45 for counts, but it's not widely supported and it's quite cumbersome for relays as it probably requires a separate tags table, and some indices as well. I know because I've built my own. Anyway, I kinda agree, adding too much features to relays reduces one of the best feature of nostr: simplicity.

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nice, will have a look at Nastro and nip-45. I wonder if there is any kind of cryptographic proof involved in a count response, doubt it.