Its also the only social media where u GET TO OWN YOUR FUCKING RELATIONSHIPS HOMIE

No, im saying it's not free. You're paying with convenience. Until you've built the right UX that is...

No you don't if you do not use your own relay.

Yeah, it’s a shit show, ten different clients for each platform and none have any commonality, saying nothing about the onboarding. I don’t know any non tech people that want yet another set of completely different credentials to log in and if you lose them, you lose access to your account. However, primal seems to be listening, as they have just added the ability to backup your keys to your keychain, relieving the user of at least that one small headache. And then there are the relays, I don’t understand why clients can’t have default relays for different use cases. Is been like this forever and other than primal, I don’t see any other clients trying to embrace the average user rather than cater to the tech crowd. This is why Nostr has plateaued

Yes you do.

Any relay can delete your data very easy without any permission.

But all relays deleting your data is highly improbable, which is why in practical terms you're wrong.

Are the data are on your server / relay? No.