This is the new DM I am working on:

GitHub

NIP-17 (old 24) Sealed Gift-Wrapped Messages for Private DMs and Small Group Chats by vitorpamplona · Pull Request #686 · nostr-protocol/nips

This PR creates a new private messaging scheme from the learnings of many past proposals, including NIP-44, NIP-59, NIP-24, NIP-103, NIP-76. It bri...

and it is available on Amethyst right now. It tries to be as private as possible without having to have an AUTHed relay. I would argue that in extreme privacy implementations it could be more private than SimpleX. A client can have a DVM to connect to receiving relays for users and not leak your device's IP that would allow for some correlation even if everything is encrypted. @Mazin has a very good start with inbox.nostr.wine. The way to see the relay is as a mail box for the user. The user is paying for the relay to receive and store any event that `p`-tags the user. They might be spam or real messages. It's not the relay's job to decide which is which. It's the user's job (via a good client that helps you manage your inbox) to delete things that are spam and clean up their account with the relay from time to time.