i guess its good that it exposes that Bitcoin governance is de facto "social pressure on Core" which is indeed a fucking stupid way to run an important software project but its probably better than "Core just decides themselves without any social input at all"

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This was always going to be governed "socially". The only other alternatives are centralized "Foundation"-type governance structures... Bitcoin is (ironically) the most perfect system of anarcho-capitalist ownership ever invemted, but Bitcoin itself is "owned" by no one.
no. it's not. like at at all. It is a large software project which is controlled by a core group of developers. mostly nothing happens because they're incentivized to do nothing. except when they're incentivized to do something. Don't kid yourself that it's decentralized.
having a centralized group of people in control of the software and ZERO agreed mechanism for making decisions, is *better* than, having a centralized group of people in control of the software and having SOME agreed mechanism for making decisions. weird take but ok.