That last thing would be a one way ticket to jail. I'd prefer Craig outside of jail and productive. There's only so much developers can do to protect your human rights, others will have to do the rest (like suing the hell out of the US government).
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What's wrong with temporarily creating a multisig transaction with 4 other people, who you have no knowledge of? You're not intentionally assisting anyone with a crime - you don't even know who they are, or even where
If developers are anonymous, there's no one to put in jail.