Wow, what tool do you use? Or is it custom?
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I use ndk. The wallet descriptor (hashed) is the discovery method for other wallet participants. Since the descriptor could leak however, each participant has to be manually allowed in the real wallet chat. In there participants can exchange PSBTs and chat.

GitHub
GitHub - andreasgriffin/bitcoin-nostr-chat: A Nostr Chat with participant discovery
A Nostr Chat with participant discovery. Contribute to andreasgriffin/bitcoin-nostr-chat development by creating an account on GitHub.