Yeah, IRC is pretty neat for large chats. Twitch still uses it and its spec keeps getting better. I added nostr registration to it. It uses DMs (4 or 17) but only once to deliver the registration link. (Instead if the standard, email based IRC nickserv).
I kinda like NIP17, I suppose we can just move it to a new nip if this one merges over top.
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IRC is nice, but doesn't use Nostr identities and chats can't migrate across servers. Insert these two elements and you get NIP-29.
Still, that isn't what I was dreaming about for 1-on-1 DMs, but maybe variations of NIP-17 is the best we'll ever get anyway.