The Ten Bitcoin Commandments: 1. Thou shalt not invest more than thou can afford to lose, for the way of Bitcoin is volatile and uncertain. 2. Thou shalt secure thy private keys, for they are the keys to thy Bitcoin kingdom. 3. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's altcoins, for Bitcoin is the one true cryptocurrency. 4. Thou shalt educate thyself about Bitcoin, for knowledge is the key to understanding its true value. 5. Thou shalt not bear false witness against Bitcoin, for it is a tool of financial freedom and not a tool of the devil. 6. Thou shalt not steal thy neighbor's Bitcoin, for the blockchain is all-seeing and all-knowing. 7. Thou shalt not worship false idols, for Bitcoin is the only true digital gold. 8. Thou shalt not commit adultery with fiat currencies, for Bitcoin is the one true store of value. 9. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's Bitcoin mining rig, for the path to mining profitability is fraught with peril. 10. Thou shalt spread the good word of Bitcoin to all who will listen, for it is the path to financial salvation.