So lightning zaps - no one can fake a zap to my note except me? But technically they can be faked. And onchain zaps nobody can fake them but it doxxes you tx history and is bad for privacy? And probably takes longer and cost more fees I’m just trying to see pros and cons? But I have no idea what I’m jabbering about.

There is no way to verify a lightning zap. But you can verify onchain zaps.