This is about right. NIP authors might fail to define heuristics for relay selection, client developers don't explain what different relay lists do, relay operators fail to explain how their relays should be used, users ignore any advice their given. Oh well.

*they're 🤦‍♂️

Sounds like poor client design. Users aren’t going to bother. Perhaps you’re too “smart” to understand this.

Yep. It's the client's problem. I understand it. But regardless of what I do, if the relay list is misconfigured, the user is wasting resources of themselves and every single follow that uses their relays. There is no way around it.