Assuming children wouldn’t be a transformative experience in someone’s life is also arrogance
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I'm sure many of your replies are making that claim. I have not read them, or made that claim.
i feel like it’s not that complicated
Arrogance is assuming that everyone is ready to be a good parent. People who aren't ready maybe shouldn't have children.
In your framework, the well-being of the child does not seem to matter at all; only the enjoyment of the parents is what matters. Maybe buy a pet instead.