I love the novel, keep 'em coming! Arguably, if the child is nasty, he is initiating harm, and thus starting aggression. So you have the right to defend and put an end to the violence, including by using violence. Applying defensive force is not coercion. Did you ever read A Lodging of Wayfaring Men? There are fascinating dialogs about the history of religious thought, it is quite related to our conversation, and far more eloquent than my blabbering. Specifically Appendix B where Philip speaks with Steven.

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Parallel Society | A Lodging of Wayfaring Men, Appendix B | Podcastindex.org

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Agreed on the importance to address aggression, though I would also say that righteous authority, especially in the home, is not only enforced to stem aggression but also to shape and mold the heart of the child. Modern people have developed a hatred/distrust/resistance to all authority structures but authority is both inevitable and essential. There will always be people in authority over other people—in the home, in the workplace, in the church, and in government—and part of my job is to teach my children what just authority looks like and what right submission to just authority looks like. Likewise, I am to point to unjust authority and help them navigate how to submit to the office said ruler holds while righteously resisting or rejecting the injustice being enacted by the occupant of that office. If my children do not learn how to submit to the authority of someone who loves them, they will not have the tools to honor God in circumstances where authorities that do not love them attempt their compliance/subjugation. I am not familiar with the book. Thanks for the recommendation!