Fee markets on asset coupons have convenience priced in. Routing through a "Well connected" node? That convenience costs something. Has nothing to do with self custody everything to do with routing efficiency. An undercut node router could sweep the market with enough liquidity. But we'd rather complain about PRICE TOO HIGH without understanding why markets have price increases.
Ecash is credit and not at all comparable to lightning. That's like saying cash and a credit card are the same thing.