Clients should just pick one relay (maybe the fastest one or lowest latency) and a secondary fallback when fetching events from another user. Having many options would only be bad if clients don’t apply any optimization strategy.
Users can’t make good choices if they don’t understand the implications of this inbox/outbox setup. Assume they will do it poorly and code accordingly.
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But I do think choosing a Home relay is key for any new user. If you don't know where your notes are, then what's the point?
Education must not be circumvented .. devs should not make choices for users - else you will become #Apple :-)