I'm confused. Why would I want my private DMs visible to others? Isn't the whole point to have relays that allow anyone to write, but require user authentication to read?
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Only if you want DM notifications. Your DMs are now so private that even our Push Notification server cannot see them. So, if you want them, you need an opening, but everyone else will also see your events.
I disabled Amethyst's notifications because I'm using Pokey which is hooked to my private inbox relays. I haven't had any DMs since I setup Pokey, but I'm assuming that it will be able to deliver DM notifications. Could you send me a DM to test that?