It's been a struggle recently. I'm doing my best to be a good husband, father, son etc. but we're struggling financially (errors in my past, 100% my fault) and it's really starting to get me down sending basically everything I earn to banks and other debts. I think that's really what pushed me to actually make the commitment versus casually studying and surrounding myself with other Christian people. I simply can't do this on my own. I can work, earn more, create value here and all that but at the end of the day I need to have faith in Christ. Nothing in particular other than simply praying out loud with the pastor. Having him present as a form of accountability really made it real for me.