I grow and thrive when I offer something of myself and stay open enough to receive as well. This seems to be written into our nature.
If I stay honest and in touch with myself, I cannot remain indifferent to the harm I have done. The lack of life in another person begins to hurt, especially when I know I had some part in causing it. That is why making amends can be something surprisingly positive. It can become a quiet celebration that now I am able to do something different from the harm I once did.
A real apology should not silence the other person before they speak, and making amends should not become a way of proving to myself that I am still admirable.
If I build my worth on how I judge myself, I will keep swinging between pride and shame. Something deeper is needed, a sense of identity grounded not in what I am like, but in who I am.
#lent #12steps #step8
Change becomes real only when it begins to touch the people I have harmed. It is one thing to turn away from old behaviour inwardly. It is another to face the unfinished past and become willing to repair at least part of what I damaged.
This is difficult because I can get lost in two opposite illusions. I can try to fix everything perfectly, as if I could erase the past and save myself. Or I can give up completely and use the impossibility of full repair as an excuse to do nothing. The healthier way seems quieter and more honest. I do what is actually possible, without force and without performance, because making amends is less about looking good and more about becoming inwardly consistent, peaceful, and faithful to the change that has begun in me.
Sometimes direct repair will not be possible, and some doors will stay closed. Even then, the task does not disappear. I may still need to grieve what cannot be repaired directly and look for another real way to bring good where I once brought harm. Otherwise one part of my life remains pulled backwards into the past instead of being freed for the present.
#lent #12steps #step8
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