The no-fuss headscarves made of jersey fabrics are fabulous unless you move around.
They're great for conference calls and videos, but when I was out walking, moving my head from left to right, and stooping down, wouldn't you know — it came undone.
Over the last year of fiddling with scarves, veils, the under cap, pins, no pins, and magnets, I've concluded there's one way a headscarf works for me: tied in the back at the base of my neck, thrown around my neck and pinned over the back of my head on the opposite ear.
I spent a good 10 minutes fighting with the pins this morning, too. Those straight pins? They fall right out! Every time. I do not know what you guys are doing differently in the videos than I am.
I've spent a year, on and off, trying to get used to it, figuring it out, and watching tutorials. I figured it out real quick when I went outside.
Then again, I'm not coordinated enough to French braid my hair either. I never have been. Since I could not learn how to do that no matter how often I've tried over the years, I'm betting there's a high chance I won't be able to style my headscarf like others.
I can't have things squeezed tightly around my skull, like an under cap, the no-fuss jersey rectangle scarf that must sit that way to be flush on the face, or fabric wrapped tightly around my neck.
It doesn't work for me. It triggers a low-level heightened awareness, my flight-or-fight response. In that state, I cannot concentrate on the professional tasks in front of me.
There is no "getting used to it." I don't have to "get used to it." I'm not 11 and trying to adjust to a training bra.
I'm allowed to be comfortable, feel safe, and not hate how I look all at once.
Yesterday, I tripped over my pant leg again when speeding up the pace (another big pit bull on a tiny rope) but didn't fall.
These long, baggy pants do not work in #tactical situations. I am not trained to maneuver in them like some do in martial arts.
I have yet to tell you about all the times I've tripped over the bottom edges. They're so big that I have to hike up the waistband to sit at the base of my ribs to avoid tripping over them, which is uncomfortable.
Don't get me wrong.
I often enjoy them in the house, when walking outside, or running errands. They can be quite elegant, but the difficulty arises when I have to make fast work on my feet.
It's often unexpected.
In those moments, I trip. I've gotten good at not falling, but those few seconds of recovery can cost me several feet of distance, depending on the situation.
Throughout my life, I've often found I have more peace when prioritizing functionality for the scenarios I can find myself in.
I'm not 100 percent sure what this means for my wardrobe in the future, but there's a high chance it will not please Muslim X.
I dragged out some pants from 2 to 3 years ago. I had a different body then. I still fit into some pants and immediately started feeling calmer with the snug denim where it belonged. I felt more like myself, which was telling.
This means outside of the occasional comfort of lounging in these giant pants or feeling #elegant, I am not myself in them.
My #functionality is hampered. I'm not spending any more money experimenting with different styles or things that don't fit or work right.
