Whoever told you this seems to have a very one-sided view of history. I suggest you read the book The Blocksize War.
In any case, Bitcoin has built-in conflict resolution. Those who wanted to scale an exponential network in a linear way lost, both technically and in the market.
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Self defense or no, it was still censorship and caused the split. Like I've said elsewhere, I'm still not a big blocker, but I think I'm approaching a balanced view that is no longer "small block."
When I finish Roger Ver's book, Hijacking Bitcoin, I'll grab The Blocksize War.