they're public or private. that is up to you. for example, i run a private relay for my family. it's only writeable by a certain list of npubs, but everyone in the world can read from it. if you want it to be a paid relay, nostream has these options built into it, you just need to enable that feature in the configuration settings.

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also, if i allowed my relay to be public or whitelisted your npub, you could rebroadcast any of your old notes to my relay and it would save them.
Sorry I meant what @will is currently working on with The Relay is in The Phone and if it's more than just gossip. Yana is another client that currently uses gossip.