But to be clear, that's my relay and it's a relay that I spun up using @relaytools So you have 2 layers of authority above you: 1. My decisions on how I operate my relay, but they are bound by 2. @relaytools decisions on the service they offer to people like me. After you tried my relay for a while, you might want to spin up your own directly with @relaytools but you would still be bound by their operations. To achieve true self sovereignty you may wish to spin up your own relay using software like strfry:

GitHub

GitHub - hoytech/strfry: a nostr relay

a nostr relay. Contribute to hoytech/strfry development by creating an account on GitHub.

This could could do, by getting an agentic AI to help you. Or you could even get a coding AI to write your own relay with your own standards and requirements. I tell you all this to show you the layers of autonomy. They are a similar type of path to Bitcoin, which moves from buying Bitcoin through a bank, to using a specialised exchange, to using a peer to peer service to moving your coins to a hardware wallet, to eventually building your own hardware wallet like a seedsigner. It's your choice how high up the freedom ladder you climb. Most people don't climb it at all.