i definitely agree, it was just a quick "better" suggestion than say a home address i'd also love to know a "best" solution, this sounds like spy-novel stuff but maybe dead drops?

Yeah, any PO box or UPS box is going to require ID to set up, and there are strict rules. The private companies will typically tolerate your mail/packages arriving with different names, but some will not. I've heard some people will give a neighbor's address and just snag it before they get home from work. If you use a name close to yours, you could probably explain "oop, they dhipped it to the wrong address" it to your neighbor, and they might even bring it to you in the event they got to it before you. This story is a lot less believable when it's not even close to your name. Unoccupied houses typically have a hold on all mail and deliveries, so they don't work out as well in practice as they do in theory. There's the "just use a business" but people generally want to see some documentation from the state that the business really exists. And to get that, you're likely back to showing ID so they can [at least try to] hold people accountable when the business commits fraud. AFAIK this is an unsolved problem, and that is specifically due to laws created due to past abuses. You can improve your privacy from the standpoint of the shipper, but being unknown to everyone is going to be rough.