“Functionally necessary is never subjective” >> false… Since you’ve been enjoying analogies: It is “functionally necessary” for much of the population to collect unemployment checks from the government in order to feed their families. It is not “functionally necessary” for me to do so.

I don't understand what point you're trying to make here. One of those statements is false. It is not functionally necessary for much of the population to collect unemployment checks from the government in order to feed their families. Do you realize that you're arguing that theft is necessary in that statement?