Exactly my mood. I can not bring myself to trust a custodial solution, at all, because I do not see this as the real purpose of even holding any sats, BTC or whatever (unless it's a conversion service like Bitrefill where it makes sense to have a temporary custodial wallet to convert out from). But man do I wish CLN was a little... better. Cryptic messages, only JSON output on the CLI (I am not a maschine...) and only Zeus seems to support it, at all, via a plugin, that requires you now to disable an internal plugin, further complicating things. I WISH I had gone with LND. There is so much more support for that out there than CLN, like a LOT.