On Pubky you have control in the sense that only what's found on your home-server can be considered yours, as in cryptographically linked to you. And you can edit and delete stuff on your home-server at anytime. (Unless you use some future client that signs every note nostr style, but that's not the default way of going about things.) In terms of read access to your stuff you certainly could control that on Pubky, since the place where things are being read from is your homeserver, not some relay outside of your grasp. Pubky offers both strong censorship resistance and a high degree control, the trade off is that it didn't emerge from the same sort of quantum soup as nostr, so it's much more managed, at least for now.