oh wow, congrats~!
things like that make me super-anxious lol
for me, it depends. if i let the first narrative dominate, then i get unfocused, moody, and anxious—perhaps expressed as a need for control..?
if i adopt the second narrative, then i wouldn't say i feel more assertive or pushy, but more driven and can put that pent-up energy into better use.
idk if that makes sense
thanks for sharing ^^