I think, Core's strength isn't diplomacy. They did in the past take the right decisions and for example full RBF was introduced in a much more diplomatic way. Opt-in at first, full later. With OP_RETURN they went full-rbf in one swoop.
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I think that is the crux of the concerns. The change in behavior.
Lack of diplomacy and totalitarianism are not the same thing. One can be forgiven.
They have made it clear that miners are higher on their list than node runners. I'm not seeing evidence that node runners are even on their list of priorities.