Thinking about 1 day people on #nostr will die or maybe right now and all of those keys will just be left their It feels very lonely thinking about it and scrolling through a persons chat with you , knowing that he is dead . it feels empty . i dont want to cry i dont feel like it , i just feel empty i want to say "I love you" to all of my crushes but i cant , i know i will or they will die one day but i just cant say i love you , why it is soo hard maybe the reason is money . i dont earn shit while they will want to go on dates and stuff nor i have anything to talk about except tech and retarded stuff i am not independent its not like i dont want to be its just that whenever i try to be my parents and relatives just fucking demotivates me to the point i just hate doing that stuff , everytime i do something i like all my parent ask "is it going to make money or why are you going their when its not usefull" well i live all day in my house and i am fucking bored seeing the same wall everyday and i do stuff because i like it ofcourse it does not make money but it makes me happy