Don’t worry about being wrong — that’s the point.
Pair programming sessions don’t usually derail because of personality or skill gaps.
They derail due to the lack of declared intent.
▸ "Let’s have a look."
▸ "I’m trying to understand."
▸ "It’s probably something very obvious."
It sounds curious, humble, even open-minded — and yet, it usually means:
⚡ "I don’t know WTF I’m doing."
⚡ "I’m not ready to commit to an explanation."
⚡ "I’m hoping something will jump out at me."
Without intent, without a hypothesis, every observation feels relevant. Nothing can be wrong — because nothing specific was expected.
Obviously, not knowing is a valid starting point — maybe the only valid starting point in any endeavor, for that matter.
However, declaring ignorance is a comfort trap. It can be a justification for remaining indecisive.
Conversely, even the most ridiculous hypothesis shifts focus from activity to validation.
You will be held accountable not only for your ridiculous thoughts but for the progress as well. So that's nice.
That is the feedback loop you are entering when stating expectations.
💬 “I expect the result to be X.”
💬 ”If this condition is true, we should skip the database query.”
💬 “If X is null, Y should throw.”
Say it aloud, even when not pair programming to turn wandering into a controlled experiment.
And also, my self-talk signals to my spouse and daughter that I am in a state of deep concentration — rather not to be disturbed.
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