I wouldn't use Nostr for direct messaging.
People don't see them.
Messages are easily compromised by an app on either end with too many permissions.
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"People don't see them"
Yeah this is my interpretation of direct messages on Nostr kind of just sucking in general. It's disappointing because it is convenient to have a direct message function even if you know it isn't private.
Totally agree they should never be used for any messages that you would care about leaking
I might use it to make the intial contact & then move it to Simplex.