Well I assume any legacy bank that I create a business account with will be fractional reserve. Funny how I have to build my fuggin business on top of that!

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I know what you're going through. I paid off my debts a few years ago and since then I have trouble opening accounts and I can pretty much forget about getting any loans. No debt = no loans. Funny how that works. A few years ago Binance rolled out a debit card which I used until they lost their EU issuer (thank you ECB/EU) and that card enabled me to pay with Bitcoin everywhere, no fees, no ATM cost, cashback and interest on any balance. You could even set the order on how funds are used like EUR, USD, BTC, XYZ. Now I have Revolut and they're a total scam. They charge ridiculous fees all around and at times even rejected deposits from addresses I've withdrawn to FROM their site. Tbh, spending Bitcoin was easier 6 years ago than it is now. For me anyway.