Danny P, you are not alone, have also experienced loss many years ago due to my bad judgement, and yes, it freaking hurts, still have moments of despair, and when that time comes, I just start praying, whether the losses are ever recouped or not, or whether the criminals are ever caught or not. My friend, just keep praying for peace and salvation. May I suggest the Bible? Start in the book of Psalms, in the Old Testament, has really blessed me in times of trouble. God bless you, sir!