🚨 FORT NAKAMOTO MONDAY MORNING MISERY REPORT: NODE ONLINE, PATIENCE OFFLINE 🚨
The coffee’s bitter.
The mempool’s full.
The neighbors are asking what “Bitcoin” is again.
🏰 FORT NAKAMOTO OFFICIAL MOOD:
• Blocked a clown at 7:03am.
• Yelled “not your keys” into a void.
• Still showed up—because fiat doesn’t rest and neither do the sovereign.
💡 NEW RULE: If Monday doesn’t feel like a TPS report from Jerome Powell, you’re not logged in yet.
⚡ Zaps = caffeine for the timeline
☕ Coffee = the only monetary policy we trust
🏰 Fort Nakamoto = Fortress of early-week coping and late-week vengeance
#FortNakamoto #GrumpyNode #MondayMempoolMadness #ZapForSurvival #SatsNotFeelings #CoffeeChainProtocol