Mental health release GM Nostr. I had a tough one this weekend. I understand that talking about difficult things helps one process and move on. Since Nostr is such a close knit community and completely incomprehensible to the general public I feel like this is a safe place to share my experiences without exposing my personal identity or violating any privacy laws. Do not read below this line unless you want to read about real life interactions with death and severe trauma. I’m a volunteer firefighter in a rural community. We are a 100% volunteer force that supports all emergency operations in the county. We have one ambulance that is staffed 24/7 by a paid crew, but that ambulance has to cover 217 square miles. Ambulance response times can take up to 2 hours and volunteer firefighters are often first on scene to medical emergencies. Sunday afternoon I got a call for a motorcycle vs car accident on a two lane state highway. I jumped into my personal vehicle and rushed to the scene, about six minutes away. No time to get the fire engine or rescue vehicle. I do carry some basic medical supplies and have my personal vehicle equipped with flashing lights. When I got to the scene, the car was partially blocking the roadway so I blocked the northbound lane with my personal vehicle got out and approached the accident. The car was closest to me, so I went there first. The driver was shaken, but apparently uninjured. I told her to stay in Vehicle and wait for the ambulance. The motorcycle was about 50 feet up the road in a ditch and I could not immediately see the motorcycle driver. As I walked north past the point of collision I noticed fragments of bone in the roadway. Another 20 or 30 feet up I found a helmet laying in the ditch. I always get hopeful when I find clues or a trail. Maybe the guy wandered off in shock and all I have to do is find him so I can help him. That was not the case. I found the victim face down, crumpled into the embankment. All four limbs were broken, and even from the back the head was quite misshapen. No pulse. There was nothing I could do. By then other firefighters and local sheriff deputies were arriving. I gave a situation report to the incident commander helped cover the body with a sheet and stepped away to help direct traffic. All highway fatalities are investigated by state troopers before we can clear the scene. They arrived quickly and worked in a professional manner conducting their investigation as rapidly as possible. But news travels fast in a small town. Friends and family members of the deceased started showing up before we had a chance to move the young man’s body to the ambulance. Not knowing he had passed friends and family members abandoned their cars in the middle of the road at the roadblock and started running towards the scene, hoping against the worst. Local sheriffs, deputies and other firefighters were able to stop them before they got too close. I find a bit of solace in the fact that I took the time to cover him with a sheet. That his loved ones last memories of him weren’t seeing him mangled, blue, and bloated on the side of the road. From the time I arrived to the time the state troopers concluded their investigation and cleared us to move the body took about an hour. This was a rather large individual, well in excess of 300 pounds. It took six of us to unfold him and roll him onto a backboard so we could lift him out of the ditch. In addition to his weight, we had a difficult time moving him, every time you tried to grab a limb or move the body it gave way because almost every bone was broken. Moving a body like this is always personal, almost intimate. You have to get very close to put your hands on and manage that kind of weight. We got him loaded into the ambulance and sent him on his way. Opened the highway back up and started the normal flow of traffic. Frustrated drivers giving us disdainful looks for having a minor inconvenience on a Sunday afternoon, blaming first responders for closing the road. Thank you for listening and letting me vent. I found it to be helpful and therapeutic. I think I’ll tell my second story later that’s enough processing for now. I’m going to go feed my chickens, touch grass and get some sun.

Finished a 5K in just under 57 minutes wearing turnout gear and air pack. Some people called me crazy, some commented on how good of shape I must be in. Now think about this: How long does it take to put out a house fire? Almost every firefighter on our local 100% Volunteer Fire Department has “packed up” and worked way more than an hour defending life and property.  I’ve seen everyone from the biggest guy, to a young mom, to an old timer, volunteer to strap on 70lbs of gear and walk into a smoke filled room. Sure, it was hot today, but nowhere near as hot as walking into a burning building. I wanted people to see how difficult it was to walk 3 miles in firefighter gear. Now, think about working that hard: scared, wrestling a fire hose, maybe while looking for a victim, and definitely with your partner depending on you. Every firefighter you see: directing traffic, rolling hoses and handing out water… they’ve all been there. Today was for them.

Good morning Nostr. I got to do CPR for the first time last night. I joined the local volunteer fire department in January and have gotten to go on a wide variety of calls. Last night I was first on scene to a CPR assist call. I found an older woman desperately trying to revive her husband of 43 years. He was still warm so I took over and did my best for 20 minutes until the ambulance arrived and took over. Here’s what I learned: People are a lot more squishy than the CPR mannequin. Get on your knees. The conservation of effort made by being in the proper position makes a significant difference. If you are doing CPR correctly you WILL crack some ribs. Even though it’s an emergency situation do not forget to take a second and do a tactical size up of the scene. Not only to check for threats in the background but to clear the immediate area of any potential hazards to your own safety. I’m glad I have Nostr where I can share my experience and have a cathartic release. If I posted this on regular social media, I’m sure I ‘d get a talking to by my captain about some kind of medical privacy law violation.

What the heck kind of gun is this? The suppressor and light are drawing my eye away from the characteristics of the gun its self. Looks like it has a hammer to me. #asknostr #gunstr

I completed the “live burn” portion of my firefighter training today. 52 Years old and outperforming people half my age. Work for yourself, grow what you eat, touch grass, get sun and you can do anything.

This started as a reply and developed into its own post. I did some anthropological research and it seems that evolution has designed humans to: walk or light activity for 8 hours a day, high activity in bursts for 0-2 hours a day, lazing around for 6 hours a day and sleeping the rest of the time. Imagine, living the prehistoric lifestyle. You wake up around sunrise, go find some water and start foraging and observing nature for signs. Signs of danger, signs of prey, keeping one eye and one ear tuned to your surroundings while you graze on wild edibles. Unthinkingly letting your surroundings wash over your senses. You notice signs from the heard of large ruminants you’ve been observing allow for a prime hunting opportunity. The chase, the kill, the harvest. A full belly requires rest and a nap in the shade of a tree. As the shadows lengthen, the kill is processed into manageable portions and a slow walk for another drink of water, observing and foraging along the way. As dark sets in the group gathers around the fire, reminiscing about the day, telling stories and planning for tomorrow. You drift into sleep without realizing you’re no longer part of the conversation. A twig snaps and you’re instantly awake, looking in the direction of the sound. A few minutes pass, there is no danger, you stoke the fire. Maybe lay quietly thinking, making love or doing a quiet perimeter search at the edge of the firelight to ensure danger has passed. As the sun rises you wake up not knowing when you feel back asleep. Your energy levels are high because you eat and sleep in natural rhythms. I believe that this is the natural rhythm in which humans were designed to exist. People think I’m strange or lazy because I follow this pattern. Wake up, tend the garden and animals, workout, eat, rest, office work, eat, garden, family time then sleep. I’m 52 and nurses are amazed that I’m not on any medications. My bloodwork is great and my stress level is low. Living a natural lifestyle is different and normies are brainwashed into thinking it’s weird. I think it’s weird to be hypersensitive, overweight, pre/diabetic and stressed. This is your daily reminder to touch grass, get some sun and observe what’s going on around you.