As a child, falling asleep in the car and being carried to bed was the most
amazing thing in the world. Now, as a father, doing the same for my daughter
is equally as amazing.
-Hobo_pancakes, Jun 2015
ShowerThoughts
ShowerThoughts_at_bae.st@mostr.pub
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Random /r/ShowerThoughts posts from an all-time top 10,000 as of October 2016.
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Unless you're a celebrity, Twitter is like talking to yourself in a crowded
room.
-Sir_Vyvin, Feb 2014
If Bill Nye the Science Guy is ever replaced by a robot, it should be named
Eugene the Science Machine
-ReallyAngryPotato, Jul 2015
Stranger Things had to be set in the 80s because half their problems could
have been solved if everyone had a cell phone.
-SaraBellum42, Oct 2016
If Elton John dies who the fuck are we going to get to sing at his funeral?
-BookerGinger, Oct 2014
Homeless people should relocate to local Best Buy, Toys R Us, Walmart
locations for the holidays. Get line for Black Friday. Then sell their spot in
line on Thanksgiving night.
-Drowfire, Nov 2015
The NSA is the only part of our government that listens to us.
-krypel, May 2015
We need a Boy Scouts for adult men. I'd love to go camping, hunting, &
fishing and learn about nature with like-minded individuals.
-ShaolinMaster, Apr 2015
All the popular baby names you hate while pregnant will be the names of your
child's friends and classmates.
-bearssuck, Jan 2015
plus-size models are great, because they're finally showing young people you
don't need to be skinny to be beautiful. you just need an extremely attractive
face.
-edijakob, Oct 2016
The female equivalent of sausage fest should be called a fish market.
-gbcr, Sep 2014
Anti-vaccination people are more afraid of living with a kid with autism than
they are of losing their child from an illness.
-Decobran, Feb 2015
Your anus can release material all three states of matter. Solid, liquid, gas.
-cupboard1, Sep 2016
Deciding to date your best friend is like betting double or nothing
-dumpsterofdildos, Oct 2016
Every A in Australia is pronounced differently.
-atzyrus, May 2015
To a dog, farts are just long distance handshakes.
-Diabetic_Clam, Jan 2016
If 9/11 had happened in June, Seven-Eleven would have been screwed.
-TopHatz, Jul 2013
The way that chillies have evolved to avoid being eaten has completely
backfired
-BlueD_, Nov 2014
The Queen of England took a shit today.
-harmonicamike, Jun 2013
Making fun of a fat person at the gym is like making fun of a homeless person
at a job fair.
-Cosmo_120, Aug 2015