Netflix needs a "Wish List" where I can tell it what I want to see, and get
alerted when it's available to stream.
-SenorMcNuggets, May 2015
ShowerThoughts
ShowerThoughts_at_bae.st@mostr.pub
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Random /r/ShowerThoughts posts from an all-time top 10,000 as of October 2016.
Bot posts every 30 minutes. Occasional NSFW language. Account not affiliated with Reddit or /r/ShowerThoughts.
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Noah's ark was the first "bangbus"
-pregabalin, Sep 2015
Its okay to say that you hate people, but not a specific kind of people.
-Mutant_Llama1, Oct 2016
Defibrillators are the medical version of "Have you tried turning it off and
on again?"
-Peter_Zwegat, Mar 2016
Free WiFi would probably be more helpful at a sperm bank than a magazine.
-Ace_of_Clubs, Oct 2015
Running from the police is the equivalent of betting double or nothing
-nixon11, Feb 2016
I was much better at being myself when I was a kid.
-telephototulip, Dec 2015
If Fallout 4 didn't take place in USA you probably wouldn't find live ammo in
a dead woman's sundress
-Puccolol, Dec 2015
People who rate porn videos are the unsung heroes of our generation
-SlooshMcGoosh, Jul 2015
It's depressing that we live in a time when I can see a child freezing and
looking miserable walking to school but I can't offer a ride without fear of
potentially being labeled a creep or worse.
-PretendProphet, Jan 2016
It's not an "uncircumcised penis" - it's a penis. That's what they look like
naturally. We wouldn't say someone has an "unlifted face" or "unaugmented
breasts".
-FatherAndSun, Dec 2013
While Apple's new campus is being built, I wonder how many jokes have been
made about "installing windows"
-switchtrip16, Feb 2015
If Wikipedia wanted to reach the donation goal quicker, they should hold
"blackouts" around exam weeks.
-[deleted], Jan 2015
Downvotes should move a post up in /r/dadjokes.
-eucalypocalypse, Jun 2015
A telephone makes sound travel faster than the speed of sound
-UwRandom, Oct 2016
Every problem that takes place on earth is a "third world problem" since earth
is the third planet from the sun.
-wcrbarker, Apr 2014
Fifty Shades of Grey would make a great title to a movie about a dog trying to
read a map of the United States
-thepakman47, Feb 2015
If you organise and operate a marathon you can say you've run a marathon
without having run one
-swimming-bird, Jun 2015
Facebook is just a Pokedex for people.
-Wallach96, Oct 2016
When someone writes "tho" I think "ugh". I'm not judging them that's just
what's missing.
-BlackBox-, Sep 2016