If I could teleport, I'd still probably be late everywhere.
-IamSkudd, Oct 2016
ShowerThoughts
ShowerThoughts_at_bae.st@mostr.pub
npub1l4y7...5dd9
Random /r/ShowerThoughts posts from an all-time top 10,000 as of October 2016.
Bot posts every 30 minutes. Occasional NSFW language. Account not affiliated with Reddit or /r/ShowerThoughts.
A Showerthoughts Fortune File: nullprogram.com/blog/2016/12/01/
Powered by Fortudon: github.com/redblade7/fortudon
Account owned by: @redneonglow
Other fun bots: @BitchX @darkweb @fortunebot @GothGirlsBot @LeotardBot @loliaword @LoveLiveBot @NekoBot @weebaword @YKYWTMSMW
The "M" in "MTV" now stands for "miscellaneous."
-[deleted], Oct 2015
In England, if you don't pay for your TV licence, you can be sent to
prison. Where you can watch all the TV you want, without needing a licence.
-MrMikeHunt, Nov 2014
Let's give the top 100 richest people in the world cancer and see how long it
takes to be cured.
-kittyonmeth, Sep 2016
It's ok if Playboy stops publishing nudes, because everyone I've ever talked
to only gets the magazine for the articles.
-JJMFB417, Oct 2015
Some people think that calling a bf 'Daddy' is disgusting but calling them
'baby' is ok
-PM_ME_UR_CUM_VIDS, Aug 2016
Microwaves should have a "midnight snack" button that mutes the beep
-rtrench, Oct 2016
Snakes are free range tentacles.
-ate2bugz, May 2016
I wonder how many Oscar heads have been in vaginas.
-klsi832, Feb 2016
The guy who did the cinematography for the film JFK (1991), has "shot JFK" on
his resume.
-realwalkindude, Dec 2015
If Kim Jong Un does anything really impressive and tells people, no one will
ever believe him
-IAMAWalrus_AMA, Dec 2015
The deadliest character in video game history is probably the first goomba in
the original Super Mario Brothers. Between people not knowing how to play, not
paying attention, and little kids playing that level that guy has probably
killed Mario more times than all other bad guy characters combined.
-furrrsurre, Apr 2015
Porn sites should partner with dating sites, track your kinks, and match you
with people who are into the same things.
-autopornbot, Jun 2015
CPR is the human version of blowing in a videogame cartridge and hoping it'll
work again.
-godblow, Feb 2015
My childhood punishments (going to bed early, not leaving the house, etc) have
become goals as an adult.
-saracandy39, Sep 2016
What if the Egyptians used to have an advanced written language like ours but
became addicted to memes and eventually just started using pictures to
communicate?
-gruesomeflowers, Aug 2015
Downvotes should move a post up in /r/dadjokes.
-eucalypocalypse, Jun 2015
Every time you agree to date someone, statistically they then become the
person most likely to kill you.
-parislovestory, Feb 2015
If having sex on an airplane puts you in the mile high club, does having sex
on a subway put you in the six foot under club?
-therealjamiev, Jul 2014
"Textbook" is a pretty meaningless way to differentiate a type of book.
-DietOfTheMind, Oct 2016