Second Thoughts My mate John Tickle was really excited about marrying his girlfriend Tess. Tess, however wasn't to sure about her new name! 🤔

So let me get this straight....Women wear Fake Hair, Nails, Lashes, Contacts. Buy Fake Tits, Lips, Ass, & get Botox... But want a Real Man???? 😵‍💫

Oversight! I can't believe l forgot to go to the gym again today. That's seven years in a row. 🏃🏃‍♀️🤾‍♂️🤼‍♂️

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My boss called today and demanded to know where l'd been all week, as he hadn't seen me at work. I told him l'd been in all week but that l now identified as invisible and he couldn't see me.... I,m now TRANSparent and my pronouns are 'who/where'. 🫣

More! That could point to you being an Extreme Redneck When! You have been married three times and still have the same in-laws. You think a woman who is out of your league bowls on a different night. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader. Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan. You let your. 14-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids. 🫢

You Know You're An Extreme Redneck When! The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse. One of your kids was born on a pool table. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge. Or you can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it. 😑

Hmmmmmm! 😏

My mouth and my mind, two people with no rhythm, trying to teach the other how to dance.' 🤔

Remember #nostritches You will never speak to anyone more than you speak to yourself in your head. Be kind to yourself. 💓💞💕

I debated a flat earther once He stormed off saying he'd walk to the edge of the earth to prove me wrong. He'll come around eventually. 🤔

Just asking # nosritches How can one be... Clearly misunderstood Found missing Pretty ugly and Seriously funny 😒

I told my partner they had to embrace there mistakes. And then they hugged me.🙄

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Hey there #nostritches The Psychic Fair has been cancelled. Due to unforeseen circumstances. 😊

WARNING #nostriches If you ever get an email about pork,ham,salt and preservatives,don't open it....let's spam 🫢

For your reflection #nostriches-OxyMorons New tradition Original copy Plastic glass Uninvited guest Live recording Dry Lake Elevated subway True replica and finally you can get a Limited lifetime guarantee. 🙃

What's this #nostriches " I before E" except after C Except when your foreign neighbour Keith receives eight counterfeit beige sleighs from feisty caffeinated weightlifters. 🙄

The other day my boss texted me,"Send me one of your funny jokes." I replied,"I' working at the moment,l will send you one later." He replied," l'm laughing my face off,that was fantastic!Send me another one." 🤨