im staring at a bookshelf in a bookstore they have: mossad by michael bar-zohar and nissim mishal they have: hamas by beverly milton-edwards and stephen farrell

feel like anyone familiar with my internet habits knows this, but gonna do a room refresh anyway, clubhouse style re: methods i had 'someone' i was hooked on he knew it did a less is more thing so what was shared was devastatingly impactful if i happened to see it spent a lot of years suffering vowed i would never be this to anyone

my anaconda don't want nuns unless you've got buns, hun?

h o s t i l e

whoa tetragrammaton and david whyte

needed new tunes atm or i was gonna lose it

meet up with someone for coffee, a friend did you talk? or did they talk to themselves using you as a reflector, a bounce light?

ok well that's a good retrieval to think about so im glad this happened how often when someone is speaking are they talking to themselves

ok, gonna explain an emotional literacy thing, this isnt correct in all cases, emotional literacy isnt like that ok, relative to the leaf blowing, my brother has observed this behavior even more than me, he also knows how upset it makes me, his natural instinct is to then play it down like just now, when i pointed it out, he downplayed it so nonchalantly i could tell i was being managed, he tried to do a: oh, i-didnt-even-notice vibe as a sound engineer i can understand that instinct as a masculine instinct, i really can, trying to de-escalate like you would with other men or taught to but it comes across as emotional abandonment and infantilization and gaslighting